Beating Depression in Six Simple Steps: Stop Thinking

This is the sixth of my seven posts on beating depression without meds.  Share any one of my posts in this series on Pinterest and Facebook, and then let me know you've done so by commenting here on the blog.  Each share is worth one entry, so if you share each of the seven articles on both sites, you'll be entered fourteen times.  On November 8, I will draw the name of one lucky reader out of a hat for the grand prize: a NatureBright Sun Touch Plus therapy lamp!

I'm afraid that I'm going to lose you here, but stay with me.  I'm about to tell you to think positive. I know, I know.  I feel like a traitor even writing it, because when people who've never experienced major depression tell me to think positive, I have to bite my tongue.  Otherwise I'll say something snarky about them thinking their way out of heart disease, diabetes, or cancer.

So I know.  This might look like a pep talk you've heard before, but please keep reading.  

Last winter I was really struggling with depression, and because I knew a spiritual lift would do me good, I headed for the temple to do an endowment session.  This meant getting up early so I could be done by the time TJ had to leave for work, but I knew it'd pay off for me.  Only, it didn't.  By the end of the session, I was so distressed that I was crying.  One sweet matron at the front of the room noticed me and was concerned, but luckily I escaped at the end of the session without a Q&A.

What went wrong?

Well, my body was in the endowment session, but because of the quiet and even introspective nature of that ordinance, I had allowed my mind to be totally absent.  Basically I spent the whole hour and a half ruminating on my failures, my fears, my disappointments, and my heartaches.  And that's enough to bring anyone to the brink.

Is rumination playing a big part in your daily battle with depression?  For better or worse, it is.  

A cow ruminates when partially digested material from one of her six stomachs comes back up for more chewing.  It's gross.  But that's the same word we use to describe how we mentally "chew" on something over and over.  This can be gross for our emotional health.  

Don't believe it?  Download the app at https://www.trackyourhappiness.org/ and you'll begin to see that you have opportunities to ruminate all the livelong day--and that your mood corresponds almost directly to what you're thinking.  

There is a great table in Dr. Stephen Ilardi's The Depression Cure that I need you to see:

Think about how little of your attention is commanded by a lot of things you do every day.  If you work construction.  If you work retail.  If you are the mother of small children.  And even if your job is very mentally stimulating, the temptation to ruminate in the car, in the shower, in bed, and even while watching TV or "reading" can be huge.  If you charted your rumination in a day and your corresponding mood during that time, what would your results look like?  The fact is that the more mentally engaged we are with what we are doing--or in spiritual-speak, how well we "live in the moment"--can have a huge impact in our emotional health.  

Like a lot of other mental health concepts, this one operates on a spiral.  Dr. Ilardi explains that our mind's filing system is based on emotion, so when we're feeling low, our mind starts pulling all the files marked with a frowny face and replaying them for us.  So helpful.  It's like, "I remember the last time I felt this terrible, was when I had that huge fight with Mom.  Almost as bad as when the baby was in the hospital for ten days.  Which reminds me, I only have ten days to get ready for Cindy's baby shower and I just know it's going to be a huge failure.  Just like always."  Thanks, brain.  Now I feel even worse.

The trick with this spiral is to push back enough that you're headed up the spiral instead of down. And the key here is to monitor your thoughts.  Know when your brain has too much down-time and act to engage it in what you're doing.  In the shower, focus on how wonderful the hot water feels, how great your new shower gel smells, and how much better your showtunes sound in the great acoustics of the bathroom.  In the car, focus on talking to your kids about their day, or even pop in a book on CD and start learning a new language.  Engagement in what you're doing is optimal, but even diversion can save you here.  I am a huge fan of podcasts.  And speaking of podcasts, you MUST listen to this fabulous TED Radio Hour about happiness.  There are four parts, so make sure you get all of them.  And if you've been hiding under a rock for the last two years, listen to this song as well. It never fails to lift my mood. 

So you see where I'm going, here?  Instead of letting your mind drift along with the current of your emotions, captain your ship upstream to something worth thinking about.  If you have the gospel library app you can listen to fifteen minutes of general conference every time you put on your makeup.  I have been doing this a lot lately.  It takes so little effort and it gives me such a lift.  

And if you go to the temple, pay attention to what's going on.  I've heard it makes a big difference.  :)

This is the sixth of seven posts on beating depression without meds, based heavily on Stephen S. Ilardi's The Depression Cure: The 6-Step Program to Beating Depression Without Drugs.  I highly recommend you read the whole book to learn how best to implement this revolutionary program.  Come back next week to learn how socializing can help you beat depression!

And just so you know...I'm not getting anything from NatureBright or from the publishers of The Depression Cure.  I just get a kick out of helping others beat depression.  Somehow it makes what I go through worthwhile.  Almost.  ;)